Laisa Summer — For reasons we can't quite fathom, Laisa Summer used to have a thing for the late Sonny Bono. Still has, as a matter of fact, and in certain karaoke circles, the story is told that Laisa does a mean, live rendition of I Got You Babe. For this, she has become legendary, gotten offers to do live shows in Vegas and, in the process, Laisa has acquired a cult following among a select group of gypsies, tramps and thieves. The acclaim is startling, to say the least, and even now Laisa can't quite explain all of it. Neither can she explain the erection she often gets thinking about the pending fame.

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Sabrina Kamoe — Kamoe to my house, you might be saying once you get a look at the lovely and exotic Sabrina. Of course,  Sabrina's a special lady you'll soon find out. And Tito with his quick, mechanical mind analyzed the situation with deadly accuracy. He saw Sabrina's package stick out like an iceberg in the Caribbean and knew right away there was something different in store for him that afternoon. But was this adventurous fool taken aback? No way. The monkey glands which doctors injected him with months before took immediate affect. Tito is now an equal opportunity sex man.

Angel III — As inevitable as a Catholic goes to church on Easter Sunday, your path will cross with a tranny's. The question is what will you do and how will you react when that time comes. Like cards, Angel's feeling is that, if you're the tranny, you just lay your balls on the table and put your best face forward. Of course if that face has been hit by a truck in the past, you're at somewhat of a disadvantage. So if you've got looks that could scatter chickens, Angel recommends the time honored practice of cock sucking. It gets a conversation going real quick. And, who knows? You might find a guy who'll appreciate the fact you look like a top ranked boxer in the welterweight division.

Ciara Stone — It's often said that it takes one with a cock to know how to fully suck cock. Not that we're put that axiom into practice, mind you. But there was a time in her life when Ciara Stone after legging out a triple, stood on third base, spat a wad of tobacco juice into the dirt, grabbed her package and knew the glories of a summer day. Then Ciara began wearing pairs of very large hoop earrings, grew her hair like a gypsy lady and felt that she could teach life's mysteries to other men. When she began charging for the service, Ciara realized that baseball didn't pay nearly as much.

Barbara Vasconcelos — Guaranteed. If you repeated the name Barbara Vasconcelos three times underwater, the Red Cross would be treating you as a drowning rescue victim. We know this for a fact because we ran into Barbara the other day at the public swimming hole and she was wearing a very abbreviated bikini. With a rather obvious bulge. Our first impulse was to yell man overboard, but the longer we looked, the more we liked. It's a concept that catches on after while. Sad to say, though, we were moral cowards. But we have this friend name Poopaquito. Though he tends to speak in a high register, Poopaquito's afraid of nothing. He went home with Barbara and made forbidden love. That story could have been ours to tell.